Thursday, October 29, 2009

worst week in a while

my thoughts and prayers are with so many people and families right now.

Monday, October 26, 2009

nice choice of color for that vestibule

the only thing good about sandwich cruz right now is sitting at vieve's kitchen table watching her color her stupid human evolution coloring book while drinking coffee thinking about my fish dream, waiting for the call to go back to sf....last night was.....intense.

p.s. never eating cheese. again.

no love for this:

Sunday, October 25, 2009

tehehehehe :)

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Friday, October 23, 2009

oh man, i wrote something after 4 weeks


you don’t leave hell unless you’ve been nursing pomegranate muscles against rotting teeth. you don’t leave hell unless digging rug burns from coal cut cuticles gets tiring, pulling up daisy carpets gets lonelier. roaring flute beats from piper pan beast, steam roller subway service station, edible arrangements taunted by hour glass changes. you don’t leave hell unless you believe yourself, until anxiety slays the ignorance, she tattooed teeth onto her fangs to bite down, twice allowed, you don’t leave. you are a circle cross interlocking, you are a spoon fed serpent with paper cut collages, you know it. you don’t leave hell unless you’re the devil, the, the, the devil (reversed).

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

EVER.SO.SLOWLY.coming out of my writers block............ever so slowly.....molasses slow...paint drying slow...10th grade 2 mile run in p.e. slow, special ed slow, the years go fast but the days go so slow slow.....just slow.

p.s. crater face was here rattling like a fragment of angry candy(slow)

Monday, October 19, 2009

oh, bother

stalking her

it's almost unfair sleeping next to this when it has a boyfriend:

Sunday, October 18, 2009

um best night of my lyfe yet

the world be ready

p.s. crater face was here, makin ya stir crazy

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Thursday, October 15, 2009

don't let one person ruin "trust" for you.....not everyone is a raging...well i just won't say

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Monday, October 12, 2009

steve miller band - the joker

got the block real bad.......

things i'm stoked about:
-autumn in san francisco
-rock n roll high school dvd i found at my parents house
-not being in oak park anymore
-knowing that everything is ok
-crater face
-developing skill
-lit quake
-seeing vieve next weekend
-tuesday october 13 @ 9:45 pm aka bob dylan midterm will be over
-really into coffee
-valerie vargas
-black sabbath
-new types of art
-making things with my hands
-dia de los muertos
-sugar skulls
-$$ for tattoos
-celebrating life
-THE DEVIL - reversed
-ellen page
-"i was putting too much pressure on you"

Friday, October 9, 2009

ew for republicans on this one
yay for putting gender/orientation/identity/disability into the mix
NICOLE!!! wake up, crazy, and smell the possibilities that you might be missing because you're stuffing your nose with doubt....put that in a jar and shove it!

the, the devil, the, the, the devil

why aren’t you in prison? the breeding place of unspoken consequences will ultimately send the buzzards swarming, chewing meat off your bones, swallowing salt flesh down their throats and i’d hold the crown of my head on tight afraid i might loose it with my neck fallen backwards laughing, you deserve a lot more than skin pecked off your bones.  

vieve, remember this chick?

vieve, remember her? i think the only difference is the hair and ...well i guess everything but the facial expressions tehehe

turning into dust

they're just young at heart and feelin it.....

been caught haikuing when i was five, i like haikuing.

i wish there was something i could do to take my best friends pain away...i guess just being a constant will have to do. 

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

galaxy awaits you

bold statement: cocorosie is in my top 5 favorite bands

i scout like atticus finch

fast cars, who the hell is aes rock......i'm an artist, please don't laugh at me

Who's that walking with a hole in his head?
Bazooka Tooth, Gemini, I came to break bread.
What's a troop's recipe for treacherous times?
I tell 'em fast cars, danger, fire and knives, lets go
Fast cars, danger, fire and knives... 
I got her majesty Athena riding shotty wide-eyed

Its like never mind the bullocks.....Fuck
Like every other week these hipster tabloids jumping on and off my sex pistol's bullets. 
Like every other week he spins the bottle. 
Like every other week these fucking fanzines forget if they spit or swallow. 
Too bad your inner sheep never forgets to follow, 
cuz my inner greed to feed your hate for loving us is hostile. 
Fortunate for me it coincides with what comes natural, 
so the mongrels that I run with turn the fuck yous into fast food. 
Like a little freak sick of the 3 o'clock bully knuckle dust, nursing his last shiner, finds the shoebox in his mother's truck. 
Tomorrow's extra curricular punching bag 
will finger daddy's widow maker out a brown lunch bag (bang!). 
This is where the hunch back 
snake oil peddlers 
stuck under the burgundy sky of spaghetti westerns 
tend to bubble up. 
Weathermen huddle up. 
Today the son of one too many 'yes sir's kings his checkers, 
watch the double jump. 
Back with a platter of hot leeches that'll drink up-every bloody drop down to the last diseases, 
it's A-E-S-O-P-R-O-C-K, 
the peak twister. 
Defender of the son of Vaughn Bode's Cheech Wizard. 
I used to pray the treatments got easier with my aging 
like serotonin weekends was merely comedic hazing. 
Wrong, but along his travels located the key to world peace: 
“kill every motherfucker but me.” 
You cool with that? 
Cool. Bang. 
Cool. Hang. 
Uh... bang? 
Sorry, dog, rules are rules. 
And too long have I followed yours. I'm trying to get them years back, 
and walk through every cipher with dynamite in a beer hat.

life's peachy, like james and the giant

VIEVE!!!!! 10 days n counting
sloth me, now. 

just don't talk to me for 24 hours, then after 24 hours we can go tanning ;)

vieva feva

Monday, October 5, 2009

i could just about die

you are the fairy princess to my weathered dream

this side of the blue, joanna newsom

Svetlana sucks lemons across from me
And I am progressing abominably
And I do not know my own way to the sea
But the saltiest sea knows its own way to me

And the city that turns, turns protracted and slow
And I find myself toeing the embarcadero
And I find myself knowing the things that I knew
Which is all that you can know on this side of the blue

And Jaime has eyes black and shiny as boots
And they march at you, two-by-two, re-loo re-loo
When she looks at you, you know she's nowhere near through
It's the kindest heart beating this side of the blue

And the signifieds butt heads with the signifiers 
And we all fall down slack-jawed to marvel at words
While across the sky sheet the impossible birds
In a steady, illiterate movement homewards

And Gabriel stands beneath forest and moon
See them rattle and boo, see them shake, see them loom
See him fashion a cap from a page of Camus
See him navigate deftly this side of the blue

And the rest of our lives will the moments accrue
When the shape of their goneness will flare up anew
And we do what we have to do, re-loo re-loo
Which is all you can do on this side of the blue
Oh it's all that you can do on this side of the blue

Sunday, October 4, 2009

i never want to talk to you again, sorry. 
don't call me, don't text me, don't write, e-mail, draw, think, come up to me in private or public.

it's not worth losing the most important thing. 

i'm entirely sick to my stomach at how bad i fucked up. peace. 

Friday, October 2, 2009

human the death dance by buddy wakefield

i cried when i first read this. 

On the face of her phone
Wileen programs a message to herself
so that when the alarm clock rings
the screen flashes: 

Jordan tattoos the words 
in thick black letters 
down the inside of his arm 
so that when he looks at his wrist 
he will remember not to hate himself so much.
What they both keep forgetting 
is there is life after survival.

After Dave left 
Mary started sticking her face 
between the film projector 
and the movie screen 
so that when the credits roll 
she still gets to be somebody.

When Tara’s past comes back 
she mashes chalk into the sidewalk 
until her knuckles bleed. 
She scribbles and scrapes 
and scribbles and scrapes 
until the words take shape 
and this is what they say 
I wanna die motherfucker
die DIE motherfucker.
hold tight if I love ya 
cause it might not last long.

we’re all gonna die. 
That’s the exciting part. 
It’s learning how to live for a living.
there’s the tricky stitch. 
Just ask Denise 
whose family taught her when she came into this world 
that Family equals Love 
so Denise took that seriously 
but after a lifetime of craving acceptance from their cruelty
she now finds herself jamming polaroid pictures of these people into a typewriter 
and pounding out the last letter of the word mercy 
over and over again. 
She strikes the key Y. 
Y? Y? Y? Y? Y?!

And the answer? 
The answer comes in the form of a hand written letter from the moon.
that says: 
This is brutally beautiful. 
So are we.
This is endless. 
So are we. 
We can heal this.
Crater Face 
P.S. See me for who I am. 
We’ve got work to do.

But my father
he didn’t read moon 
he didn’t speak moon 
and he didn’t write moon
so there was no note left next to his body
when he chose to leave this world on purpose 
without telling us where he was goin’ or why.
There are still days you can catch me 
tape recording eternal silence 
and playing it backwards for an empty room 
just so I can listen to his dying wish.

it’s true,
and the apple  
it doesn’t fall too far from the tree, 
but thank goodness my family tree 
was in an orchard on a hill 
that rolled me to the river 
and that river ripped me through the rapids 
and those rapids 
rushed me into this moment 
right here right now 
with you 
at the mouth 
This is my church 
And if church is a house of healing 
hallelujah welcome 
come on in as you are 
have a look around 
stay out of my porn.

There are massive stacks of bad choices in my backyard. 
Clearly I have not yet reached enlightenment beyond a few fleeting moments 
but I’m tryin’ 
and I found somethin’ here I want ya to have. 
It ain’t much 
just a story 
but it’s all I’ve got  
so take it.
It’s called Dillon.

Dillon’s drug of choice was more 
so he took more 
and more 
until the day he woke up 
babbling in a pool of his own traffic jam 
realizing he is killing off the best parts of himself 
and claiming he could read people’s skin. 
When he looked down at his heart flap 
it read Boy, go find your spine and ride it outta here.
Wileen’s gut said Day 1 
Jordan’s arms: FULLY FORGIVEN 
Mary’s face: The 
Tara’s knuckles: Healing. 
Denise’s fingertip said C? 
And Dillon said my smile it said Fix it
so I came back here to the mouth of the river 
to look at my own reflection under the moonlight 
and see what it says for myself 
where down my whole body 
it is written 
See me for who I am. 
We’ve got work to do.

As for Crater Face,
I can’t speak for that guy. 
His skin 
brutally beautiful 
handwritten letter 
from the sun.

Thursday, October 1, 2009


thanks, joni mitchell.
IT'S OCTOBER! yummmmm my favorite month since i was a kid..............and time flies like doves.
um one of the best movies i've seen in so long, Sita Sings the Blues. so creative...i'm totally getting this peacock record player tattooed, yum mami