things that i know exist

and when i'm standing with a fist full of restlessness
i'd stare down 16th street in a dream
and i'd not wake in this
and i'd call cabbies to break my bones against their metered minds
and i'd watch you evolve on a roof top
outwards torso
you'd climb my limbs,
hugging me gently.
i don't understand why you'd leave me,
spilling softly the things
that the forest can't breed
and it's petty things
like dirty prose
and false hope
and talking about you
and welts on my skin
sharpened teeth in my head
i'm a jigsaw doll
i'm a spit slam
i'm a worrisome teenager
i'm an adolescent in white dress
i'd stop
and i'd sweat out beads of your breath
and float like wings
down the stream of your conscious
i'd float lighter than pencils
deeper than wine stains
to stain
to break bread
to send me home
to kiss my mouth
to pull my hair
to let go of my hand
to fuck my mind
to steal my heart
to release my soul
to compliment my words
to pretend to care
to watch me walk
to never say
i
love
you
too.
to remove salted masks
to bathe in vulnerability
to accept masculinity
to just be.
and you destroyed me.
fuck you.